How To Prepare For St. Patty’s Day Soiree’

Okay, so whether you’re truly Irish, of Irish heritage, or just in the spirit of the celebration, tomorrow is St. Patty’s Day and it’s about to go down!  But being the humanitarian that I am, I must drop a few pointers for my loyal clients and readers on how to prepare for the St. Patty’s Day debauchery.

  • LEAVE WORK EARLY TODAY – That’s right!  The best way to the start the weekend off right is to take a half-day today and get the hell out of there!  It might be real convenient if you were to suddenly get a tummy ache after lunch.  Perhaps you ate something that didn’t agree with you?  (hint, hint)  This step in the process is imperative in order to achieve step 2
  • GO STRAIGHT TO THE BARBER SHOP – Yup!  Leave work early to get to the shop early!  If you’re really fly you would have me come straight to you and skip the long barber shop wait.  Get yourself pampered, cut, shaved, invigorated, swagmatized, and motivated in only the way that a man’s man can!  At this point you should…
  • START DRINKING YOUR WATER – At this point you should have a 22L of bottled water with you and by your side at all times.  This is imperative in the St. Patty’s debauchery preparation.
  • GO STRAIGHT TO THE NEAREST PUB – After you have gotten swaggerific and dapper, make sure to stop by the nearest neighborhood pub for beer on tap and a couple of shots as a precursor to tomorrow’s lechery.  And dinner wouldn’t hurt at this point as well.  You need to be well nourished in order to withstand the impending salaciousness of the weekend.  Pace yourself and don’t go too hard just yet.  It’s just day one.
  • AT SOME POINT GO HOME AND GET REALLY GOOD REST – I would suggest getting a good 8-9 hours of sleep, to prepare your body for the craziness of Saturday’s St. Patty’s Day celebration.  If at all possible sleep in, just lay there staring at the ceiling.  Upon waking up, get back on that water bottle again.  Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!  Keep that skin looking refreshed, you don’t want to look like a party animal with bags under your eyes.  That’s not sexy!
  • REPEAT PROCESS – Do it all again!  Be sure to eat a good, healthy, well balanced meal during the day (no, fried bar food is not healthy nor well balanced).  This is a must so that your body is not malnourished during the evening’s activities of excess.  You don’t want to be that dude that’s passed out on the sidewalk.  Continue drinking water all throughout the afternoon.
  • PARTY HARD – This is New York City!  We party hard on St. Patty’s!  Go wild, get crazy, and be good at what you do!  Just make sure you follow all of my tips so that you at least look good doing it!

TIP: Don’t Look Like This For St. Patty’s!  Come See Me!

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